April fools! My body is playing tricks on me and I dont like it. Today my leg decided to conk out on me- it just wouldn't work. I sat there in class, trying to flex my foot and it wouldnt move. I was utterly horrified and envisioned the loss of my leg, going through a series of panic modes. Its funny when your body refuses to do something that your mind is telling it to you. I was desperately saying move move move and it wouldnt budge. It took me back to this frustrating summer, when my leg was incapacitated from surgery and I hated being attached to it. It was the same leg. At least I could move it a little bit during the summer- I mean it was painful, and it would hardly move, but it would acknowledge the fact that I wanted it to.
This afternoon there was no response. For all that I knew some pulley had snapped in my leg and the wires that magically carry my brain waves to my leg were going haywire. I grabbed onto my friends arm and said desperately "my leg won't move. Somethings wrong with it.." I was on the verge of falling out of my seat- exerting all my brain power into getting my foot to so much as twitch, whilst it just sat there, feeling like a slab of stone. " Its really not moving. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO" As my notebook falls off the desk and my foot decides to lift.
oh.
ok
When I thought about making dinner tonight, I thought, cool, I'll have eggs. Should I have 3 or 4. Or maybe 3 and a half...
um
I think I should take a hiatus from trying to function, because I'm just not working right now.
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